Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his
father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's
three
kinds of breasts. In her twenties, women's breasts are like
melons,
round
and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still
nice
but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter
said, "Mom, how many kinds of "Willies" are there?" The mother,
surprised,
smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his
twenties, his Willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his
thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After
his
fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for
decoration.